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여기 온게 거의 2년전?

한 14번 정도 받은거 같은데.. 9번정도 집중적으로 받고 나머지는 띄엄띄엄..가끔 힘들면 오구..

갑자기 돈을 많이 확 번것도 아니고
생긴게 변한것도 아닌데요

힘든 일이 있어도.. 또 한번 내가 화난거 한번 달래주고.. 막 두들기다보면
그 사람 입장도 이해가 되기도 하고..

상황을 있는 그대로 받아들일 줄 알게 된거 같아요


그렇다고 문제가 아예없는건 아니지만, 예전처럼 인간관계가 너무 힘들어서 집안으로 숨어버리지 않게 되었어요

그리고 거의 하루에도 한 2~3번씩 틈만 나면 하는데요.


그리고 예전에는 운동하는것도 너무 힘들고.. 하면 더 막 기운 빠져서.. 아무것도 못하고 막 누워있고 그랬는데

지금은.. 혈액순환되라고 뜀뛰기 좀 해주고, 걷기 좀 해주고, 필라테스 하는데.. 몸이 시원하고

뭔가 더 미루지 않게 된거같아요

예전에는 미루고싶은 그 짜증나는 ..그 느낌..이 10이었으면 지금은 1~2?


감정의 폭이 예전에는 정말 장난 아니었는데

지금은 거의 차분하구요

가끔 나빠질때도 있어요 이유없이 짜증날때..

그럴때는.. 막 두들기면서 아 짜증난다 짜증나 하구요



그리고.. 기자단에도 뽑혀서 하게 되었구, 과외도 2개하고, 학교팀플도 하고

뭔가 그렇게 힘들지가 않아요

그냥 그래요


이제 또 욕심 고민이 있따면 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

애인이요............ㅎㅎㅎ 아.....이건 진짜...ㅠㅠ


제 고민의 질이 점점 고차원?!이 되지 않나요? 선생님?

그냥 우울하지만 않았으면 좋겠따> 가족들은 언제 바뀌지?>언제쯤 내가 사회활동을 하게될까?> 애인은 언제 사귀지?


정말 예전처럼 많이 힘들지가 않은게

참.. 신기하더라구요

그리고 사람대하는걸 너무너무너무 힘들어했는데

그냥 편안해요.. 나를 있는그대로 받아들여서 그런가봐요

꾸며댈 필요가 없고

그냥 그사람 존중하고 배려하면서 말하고.. 내가 어떻게 행동했고 말했는지

예전처럼 그렇게 신경을 많이 쓰지 않아요.. 안절부절하지 않고..



싫었던 친구 하나 만났는데..
뭐 여전히 좋진 않더라구요. 그아이는.. 너무 자기중심적이라
하지만 싫지는 않더라구요. 예전에 그 아이랑 얘기하면 막 가슴 떨리고 그랬는데 날 언제 비판할지 몰라서ㅠㅠ
근데 이젠.. 할려면 해라.. 그리고 걍 거리딱 유지 하면서.. 얘기하게 되요 힘들이지 않고



또 근황 알릴게요~

아! 그리고 교환학생도 신청했구.. 엄청 좋은 일은 없지만

하루하루 하늘 바라보고 맑은공기가 뿌듯하고.. 감사하구 그래요

그리고 예전에는 결과가 안좋을까봐 뭔가를 시작도 하지 못했었는데

이제는.. 그냥 그 과정을 즐기는거 같아요

저의 마인드의 변화가 놀라워요 정말..

그 n수의 패배의식에서 벗어났다는게요.


청소년기가 없어서.. 친구없다는게 정말 콤플렉스였는데

그냥 내 앞에 있는 사람이 소중한 사람이라고 생각하게 됬어요. 이론적으로가 아니라 진짜로..헐



자기계발서에서 보던 행동들이 저절로 의식하지 않아도 나오게 되는거같아요

그냥 내 마음 하나 달래줬을뿐인데..


그럼 이만용!

ㅎ감사합니다!!!!!!!!
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  • ?
    [레벨:1]더인디고 2011.08.25 23:19 SECRET

    "비밀글입니다."

  • profile
    [레벨:30]자연스러움 2011.08.26 11:11

    더인디고님은 가지고 계신 이슈들의 뿌리가 너무 깊어서 앞으로도 조금 더 세션을 받으셔야합니다.
    지금껏 정말 힘들게 사셨지만 다행히 AKEFT를 접하셨으니 반드시 원하시는 삶이루실 겁니다.
    먼곳에서 이곳 서울까지 오시느라 힘드시겠지만 희망을 잃지 않고 또 노력하고 계시니 이슈를 모두 중화하실 수 있을 겁니다.
    다음 세션 때 만나뵙도록하겠습니다. 고맙습니다.^^*

  • profile
    [레벨:30]자연스러움 2011.08.26 11:27
    열심히 사사는 것을 뵈니 저도 많이 기쁩니다. 제게 처음 오신 것이 2년전쯤이었나요?
    처음 오셨을 때는 극심한 우울과 조울 상태에 신체적인 경직이 몹시 심하셨었는데(일례로 어깨에 철근이 들어있는 것처럼 뭉쳐있었죠.)
    참자아 프로그램을 받으시면서 이슈들이 중화되고 스스로 자아상을 알게되시면서 비록 중간에 기복은 컸지만(이슈들의 뿌리가 아주 깊어서)
    잘 헤쳐나가시면서 이제는 많은 분들께 이렇게 자신을 소개하시는 정도가 되셨네요.^^
    정말 축하드립니다. 앞으로도 사시면서 일어날 일들이 내적인 행복을 흔들지 않는 자존감 높은 삶을 사시리라 확신합니다.

    앞으로 하시는 일들도 당연히 잘 되실 겁니다.
    많은 분들이 이슈를 중화 받으시고 정신적, 육체적인 문제 해결 뿐만아니라
    환경적으로나 경제적으로도 풍요로워 지시게 됨을 수도 없이 목격했습니다.

    제가 항상 말씀드리는 것이지만 성공은 노력해서 이루는 것이 아닙니다.
    노력은 힘들고 하기싫어도 목적을 위해서 억지로 하는 경우가 많지요.
    그러나 이슈들이 중화되면 많은 일들이 즐겁고 순간순간 의미를 찾게 되므로
    행복을 느끼게 되고 자연스럽게 원하는 목적을 이루는 경우가 많아지게 됩니다.
    이런 경우를 다른 사람들은 성공이라고 부르게되는 겁니다.^^

    자신을 유능하게 통제한다는 것은 성인이 되었다는 증거입니다.
    우리 주위에는 자신의 감정을 제대로 책임질 수 없는 성인아이들이 넘쳐납니다.
    참 안타까운 일이지요.
    정말 단순하고 간단하게 자신의 이슈들을 중화하게 되면 인생자체가 바뀌게되는 데
    그것을 모르고 불행하게 사시는 분들이 아주 많습니다.(마치 어린시절부터의 운명인 것처럼...)

    많은 분들이 이렇게 이슈를 중화하시고 새로운 삶을 사시기를 기원합니다.
    많은분들께 좋은 에너지와 경험, 희망을 나누주셔서 대단히 고맙습니다.^^
    또 연락주세요.^^* 고맙습니다. 사랑합니다.^^ 조화와 일치!!!

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